The meaning of Freedom
by Sylla Shadowfrost
Summary: Oneshot side story to Twisted Timing. Nokama tries to teach Siahta the meaning of freedom. NO FREAKING SLASH! Pairings not so subtly implied


The meaning of Freedom.

**Note, as if anyone will read this, this is a side story in Twisted Timing, and there are some spoilers in it, so if you want everything to remain a complete mystery to you, then don't read. –Cricket chirps- Oookkkk… here ya go.**

* * *

Siahta slammed the door to her room and flopped moodily down onto her bed, staring angrily down at the cold stone floor, like if she stared at it long enough it would disappear, or fix something. Again, anger filled her heart, along with a stinging hurt. 

There was no 'Freedom' for her. No choice in what she could do, how she could live her life. She cooked, cleaned, worked, healed and watched the younger children. Not that she minded the children- she absolutely adored them- they were her one weak spot and could always make her laugh.

As did her new found friend, Nokama Toa of Water. But that wasn't the point; both of them were practically slaves here. Neither of them were treated with much respect by the other Toa- aside from Vakama and Nuju- who could still be a fairly tough customer when he wanted to be. Neither did the Matoran- but they didn't push being rude to them.

Oddly enough, Nokama didn't see it that way. She saw it differently. "Were out of danger. They don't want us hurt Siahta, that's why were here."

The sapphire Toa had tried many times to reason with her, saying that this wasn't slavery. "Vakama doesn't want us hurt, their fighting a war out there Siahta, not playing a game, and they have to give us something to do, otherwise were just sitting around- and it seems like were useless."

Siahta snorted. She knew what was going on, more so than Nokama.

Who had to stay up a whole night with a young Matoran to comfort him when his parents were murdered by Dark Hunters? Who had to explain to a three year old Ga-Matoran that her parents weren't here any more, that they had left her? Who saw Matoran die nearly every day, who heard them scream and cry out in pain, saw them beg her to save them, when she could do nothing?

Masks of lost Matoran, or ones that had left that day for a mission were found every week, blood stained and chipped. They were announced KIA and that was that. She clenched her fists. Forgotten, lost were so many. Too many. Masks were stored away, their bearers forgotten. No name, no- oh that scholar or that Carver- even. It was like…they had never existed. They were fighting a war; she had reminded herself over and over again.

There would be time to mourn later. But still, it seemed wrong to so easily, so carelessly forget the Matoran- forgetting their very existence when they had died for them- for freedom.

So would they be forgotten when they died to free them- if she died for their freedom from the Dark Hunters? Would that happen when Vakama died? Or Nuju? Or any of the other Toa? The very thought of Vakama dying made her heart twist.

No, no, she wasn't in love with the Toa of Fire- not like that. But a certain Toa of Water was. Siahta knew Nokama would be devastated if he died- she relied on Vakama so much- and he relied on her. For support, comfort, or when advice was needed and he was being to stubborn- or shy- to ask. Though the two would never admit that they were in love. Yet. But that blush that crossed Nokama's face when Siahta asked about him told her that she did. Honestly though, it would be better if they just would admit it that they liked/ loved each other because it was rather obvious. Well, to her at least.

They again she reminded herself, she shouldn't be talking. A light flush crept up her face as her thoughts turned to the Toa of Ice, and sighed and looked up at the ceiling. They were just friends, nothing more. It was a funny way that her emotions worked. She was positive he didn't like her like that.

Why would he? Yet, for some reason, Nokama would always smile and her eyes would hold amusement in her orange eyes when she said that. She frowned as she recalled their conversation a few days ago...

_Flashback_

_"You like him don't you?" Nokama asked as soon as he was out of hearing range. Her eyes sparkled brightly with amusement and a secret._

_Siahta blushed at the question, but continued to walk to the kitchens, to sacks of vegetables slung over each shoulder._

_"Perhaps. But if I did, it wouldn't matter, he doesn't- and wouldn't like me that way. I am his friend, and nothing more." She replied stiffly, her voice clipped like it was around the other Toa- or when she was reporting._

_"Oh, I don't know about that" Nokama's smile got wider, a smug look on her face. Siahta froze in her place, a bright furious blush covering her face._

_She didn't look at Nokama to know that the Water Toa knew she was blushing- answering her question, words abandoning her completely._

_Finally, she spat out the bitter words that had risen up her throat. "He doesn't care about me. I'm a tool, a toy."_

_Nokama frowned and laid a hand on the younger Toa's shoulder._

_"He does Siahta. Why else would he ask Vakama to keep you here, out of the wars way?" She asked comfortingly. Siahta tensed up, shock in her eyes as she faced Nokama._

_"HE was the one to keep me here?" She had demanded, her deep eyes burning with a bright fire. Surprise came onto Nokama's face as she realized what she had done and tried to stop the young Toa- but Siahta was already gone- charging off after the Toa of Ice._

_"You." She snarled as she turned the Toa of Ice around to face her…_

_End flashback_

Siahta pounded the wall angrily.

She was such an idiot. She had demanded to know why he didn't' want her to fight along with him and the others. He had given her a long look before admitting reluctantly- and quietly that he didn't want her to get hurt.

That had gone the wrong way with her. She had challenged him- accusing him or thinking her to be weak- defenseless. He had tried to reply- but she had cut him off- saying that he didn't thing she was strong because she was female- that she was nothing more to him that a simple toy and she had no other place in his life besides working, not fighting.

She had dealt the final blow but straightening up and called him 'sir' then walking swiftly away. She knew that he hated being called that- and had told her the first time she had called him that never to do so again, and use his name- for that was the reason he had one.

She had turned back to Nokama- her back ramrod straight as she pretended not to see and hurt and sadness in those light blue eyes.

She slammed her fists against the wall and rested her forehead against he wall. That confrontation had been a week ago- and he still hadn't talked to her- nor looked once in her eyes.

Siahta let out a muffled sob of despair. Just when they were patching up their friendship from their last fight- she had blown up and hurt him again.

She let out a bitter, humorless laugh. Now she knew what Nokama was trying to explain to her- that even though it seemed like slavery- it wasn't. They still had freedom.

Freedom to talk, to laugh to live life with at least some choices. Nokama had the choice- the freedom to love her brother. She wasn't forced. She had been given the freedom to stay here after her wounds had healed or leave. She had stayed. She had the freedom in her mind- to think, to act with a choice.

She always had a choice, Siahta realized. She had just taken it on herself that she had to do that job. She let a small sob escape her, shaking her small crimson form as she slid down the wall. She had a choice in life.

And she had made the wrong one.

* * *

Nokama sighed as she pressed her back against Vakama's chest as he held her closer to him, one arm around her waist, the other around her shoulders, his head resting on hers. 

This Metru Nui was so different than her own, so unfamiliar. Yet, at the same time, it felt right, like home, like she belonged here. It confused her, but she didn't try to work it out. Not now at least.

"Siahta's still upset about her and Nuju's…fight." Nokama answered the unasked question.

"She never realized that she was forcing herself to do this- but by that time she was too far buried to get out. And that she always had freedom in words." Vakama mused as the two stared up at the sky.

"And she uses them to cut deeper than any fighting wound could." Nokama added.

"She's always had a sharp tongue." Vakama said wryly, a smile on his face.

"I tried to tell her that she had the freedom- all around her. She didn't listen." Nokama sighed clearly troubled.

"She needed to figure it out by herself." Vakama said simply, his voice weary. "I'm not saying that this was a good way." He added quickly, before the Water Toa could defend her friend. "But she needed to see her freedom and recognize it for herself before she'll stop fighting the rules that she has" "and accepts them- and realizes how much freedom she truly has" Nokama finished him again.

Vakama nodded, smiling fondly at her. "Freedom" She mused, a small, thoughtful smile on her face

"So many definitions of the word. Yet….you are always free- in your mind and soul." She whispered

"If you think about it." Vakama agreed "you're always free. Confined perhaps, but it doesn't mean you're not free."

Vakama chuckled at the small irony. He and the others were fighting for freedom, yet in a small way,

They were already free.

**

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**

**…That was weird, and held little to no meaning in it. Just a little something in Twisted Timing**.


End file.
